You don’t have to accept or reject the entire package
As recently as one year ago, I heard the term “Red Pill” and didn’t get it. Even articles on Medium, describing Red Pill, Black Pill, and White Pill, painted it more as a dark web counterculture sitting in its own bubble, than anything that actually influenced mainstream people.
Fast forward to two months ago, when I went out for hot chocolate with a friend’s girlfriend. For the record, I am not down with OPP, and my friends know this. Anyway, about an hour into our conversation, she started rattling off red pill terms like it was second nature. I was surprised at first, because she seemed so sweet and innocent. But by now I knew this culture quite well, and it turned into a rather lively conversation.
The Red Pill movement has influenced the minds of nearly all young men. My nephew and his male friends, as well as my friends’ sons above the age of 15, all think like the so-portrayed protagonists on the Whatever and Fresh ‘n Fit podcasts. And the girls, are trying to make sense of it.
As a Generation X’er from balls to bone, I have my own thoughts on what is true about Red Pill beliefs, what is not true, and what is useful. If you will indulge me…
What the Red Pill gets right
The Double Standard
Men have it rough these days. Women expect to close the gender pay gap (if it exists: I am still waiting for a definitive benchmark), dominate university and the workplace by age 30, and still find richer men who will provide and protect. Women cry and support each other about true and false allegations related to #metoo, while unempathetically calling out male fragility anytime a man opens up about being wronged.
Toxic Masculinity is burned into the subconscious of every millennial and Gen Z person, while female sociopaths do the exact same thing and get a pass. Johnny Depp had his career ruined due to false allegations, before Amber Heard kept her movie franchise roles after being found liable in court for making those false allegations.
Women shame men for wanting a young woman, while women feel no shame in wanting a tall man. Even Asian women shame white men for dating an Asian woman, while those very same Asian women want a white man. There are more examples.
Too many attractive women are looking for lifestyle. They’re hot, they’re cute, and they know how to pose on a boat, plane, or golf course. The first question that comes from any golddigger is, “What do you do?” The second question is, “Where do you live?” If either of these questions fail to pass the test, there’s no chance.
But when men have preferences, they can get rejected hard. Not the really successful men — they can choose whatever they want. But the men that are aspiring to be successful. They have little chance to approach a woman who matches what they want, maybe out of their league, and are too often shunned by the very women whose support might make the difference in becoming successful.
Men’s Rights
Men have almost no rights when it comes to Paternity. Or marriage. Once a woman has a man’s baby, or his name, she basically has him by the balls.
I personally caught my girlfriend stopping birth control while we were together, without telling me. And I don’t even make that much money. But if I would have gotten her pregnant, that would have locked me into a 20+ year journey, that I might not have wanted to take. What recourse do I have? End the relationship, and consider myself lucky. Which I did. But what if I was not so lucky?
A woman has power to absolutely wreck a man’s reputation. Amber Heard? She is far from unique. Girls spend their lives already ruining other girls’ reputations, through school gossip and slander, so why not do it to guys. He chose another woman? I’ll file a sexual harassment claim against him. This does happen; it happened to me. Right at the peak of “believe all women.” I had no right or opportunity to defend myself. I am still not fully healed from this.
So many feminists talk about relationships in terms of power dynamics. I would offer that power exploitation is very much a two way street, and I would appreciate it if more feminists called out their own, instead of just calling out bad men.
Many “nice guys” are simps, who women will talk to and befriend, but not get all hot and wet for. These “friend” women are almost never honest with such nice guys, about why they are such turn-offs. This is a disservice.
The media and journalism understands none of this. They continue publishing stories about Andrew Tate, as if he is universally decided to be toxic and without merit, and saying things like, “mothers are alarmed their sons are falling under the influence of a man like Andrew Tate.” But they don’t acknowledge what Andrew Tate says that actually resonates with teenage boys.
Red Pill captures the plight of men’s emasculation, perfectly. Don’t be a simp. Decide to fight back, if a woman is controlling and/or manipulative. It’s okay to want what you want. It’s okay to walk away. MANY men relate with this. It really is cathartic to watch people vocalize exactly how I, and others, feel about certain imbalances that exist.
Bitches
For years I did not use this word, as I thought it misogynistic. But I no longer do. If a man can be “a fucking prick,” then a woman can be “a fucking bitch.” At least it is not calling her by her anatomy. Some women really do deserve the b-word title.
Some women have no class. Often, they have 10–20 guys constantly buzzing around them, enjoying the attention while not putting out to any of them. I’ve had enough gay men hit on me that I know what getting attention feels like. It feels good. It feels great in fact. But, I also find that women who get off on this attention, don’t have enough mindspace available for a real and authentic connection.
There are other examples of bitches. The dolled-up golddigger. The player. The woman who is always nagging. The woman who is a walking landmine of anger, and you feel like you have to tiptoe around eggshells. The woman who is out for revenge. The crazy ex-girlfriend meme. The misandrist. The woman whose eyes are always shopping for a better deal.
The Red Pill captures the attitude, belief structure, and weak spots of bitches perfectly. I will admit, I enjoy the “King” videos on YouTube and TikTok — like mandem.
I learned it long before Red Pill, but this is something all men need to hear: don’t date bitches. Date nice women. They do exist. Your life will be better.
What the Red Pill gets wrong
Body Count
Female Body Count does not matter nearly as much as Red Pillers say. They say that High Value Men want women with low body count. Do you really think Jeff Bezos, about as High Value Man as any on Earth today, interrogated Lauren Sanchez as to her body count as a condition for being with him? Give me a break.
And it’s not just Bezos. I don’t know if you know any wealthy men, but the ones I know, want 3 things from a woman: 1, acceptance of their lifestyle, 2, good arm candy, and 3, some want good potential mothers. In that order. 1 is far more important than 2, and 3 is situational — not all successful men even want (more) children.
I have never once heard a successful man say he wants a woman with low body count. I HAVE heard up-and-coming men say they want this. But there’s a difference. If you want a man that WILL be successful, date the medical school student, or the law school student. Be prepared to support him through years of 100+ hour workweeks, and eventually you’ll enjoy a very comfortable lifestyle with him making mid to upper six figures. IF he doesn’t cheat on you left and right, and if he doesn’t blow it all on cocaine. But for the men who do practice restraint, yes during courtship he’ll want a woman who is more pure and religious.
But if a girl wants the billionaire oligarch, he really doesn’t give a shit how many bodies she’s had. Go to Davos or Montenegro. Most Wives and Girlfriends of the ultra-rich do NOT have a chaste history. You can just look at them, or listen to what they say to each other. Not. Chaste. Good dick sucking skills, absolutely smoking hot, but not chaste. Nuff said.
High Value Men
There are so few men today who live up to the “High Value Man” standard — and the Red Pill does nothing to pressure average joe’s to up their game. How many women fit the ideological mold for “High Value Woman” — and then their husband to whom they’ve been faithful for years becomes a violent alcoholic. Or a serial womanizer. Or emotionally distant. But all these Red Pill shows talk about is how men are victimized, most women are skanky hoes, and sometimes a bit of appearance of Christian values gets sprinkled in. Michael Knowles saying “I will pray for you” to a sex worker isn’t exactly the light on the Road to Damascus.
If you are a man, and want to be so-called High Value, then there are certain things you need to do. Establish self-discipline, set and achieve goals, and claim your balls back. Today’s Red Pill teaches, maybe, only the third pillar.
Today’s Red Pill is an invitation for male laziness, and an enabler for misogyny. A lot of Red Pill short videos end with “Yeah, Bitch!” and similarly angry slogans. Much of the content caters to the worst of the so-called Incel movement, and further divides us.
All of these influencers invest NO influence to teach the value of masculine subservience to the feminine — and I am not talking emasculation, but Norman Rockwell. Genuine appreciation. Which is a, if not the, critical piece to making “traditional” man-woman relationships work. Behind every great man is a great woman. LeBron gets it.
Which makes me wonder what Red Pill influencers want. Do they want to make a positive difference? Or do they just want to position themselves as king of the hill. I question the motive. And I question the total value they bring.
Enabling Exploiters
Third and last, smart women watch these shows. And I don’t mean truly smart, I mean manipulative. They learn from them, to sell themselves as a “High Value Woman” as a strategy for netting the high value man. It is not uncommon for women to say on dates, after they have qualified a man’s income, things like, “I believe in conservative values when it comes to relationships.” And they act out the part. Again…after they have screened the man in question.
It’s another version of the book, “How to Marry the Rich” which I think every man with money should read. But now is acted out 2020s, Red Pill edition.
My point is that Red Pillers are giving women a blueprint on how to take exploit the very men Red Pillars are trying to reach. And because men are dumb (trust me, we are), all they look for is “she looks like she doesn’t belong to the street” and this plays right into the smart manipulative woman’s strategy.
Not that every woman who tries to act the part, is a manipulator. Some women are sincerely trying to be a good partner, and are watching these videos with reflection and humility. I would like to see more content about, “Here’s how to tell when a woman is truly interested in you, versus when she’s playing the game.” A little more midgame and endgame chess please. And not another gaggle of 304’s from OnlyFans to prove yet again the same blunt point.
How the Red Pill can be useful
As with all things, separate the wheat from the chaff.
Take what inspires you to be a better person. If this content calls out to you, then view Red Pill as a chapter in your education. But don’t fixate on it and get stuck. You didn’t stick with Calculus I forever. You didn’t stick with Macro Economics forever. You shouldn’t stick with today’s Red Pill forever. Learn what you need to learn, then move on to more interesting chapters and challenges.
And, again with all things, understand that any methodology at its best will only take you 60–80% of where you want to go. Learn when, and with whom, you can discard this ideology and co-create a structure that works for your unique partnership. This point could be an entire blog post, but I knew a guy who joined the PickUp-Artist community to become more confident with women, used what he learned to find the woman of his dreams, and could not let go of the limiting beliefs from this community. The people he learned from, had no clue when it came to partnership. But he was still influenced by them. In the end, their influence ruined his dream relationship for good. True story.
Don’t make my friend’s mistake. Learn to adapt, and let go of what no longer serves you.
There are other relationship models that I personally find more useful. Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication (NVC) is right at the top for me. Attachment styles is useful, 5 Love Languages is useful (I started one relationship almost entirely because I recognized her love language was Acts of Service, and I did things for her as a strategy. When I later told her this, she was impressed not upset), and I personally like Social Styles (look for one quadrant removed). But again that is another post.
Most Redpillers are NOT in the marriages or partnerships of their dreams. They hope they will be. They say things which are on point. At best, they are still trying to figure things out. There is no blame in this, but be aware. At worst, they have adopted unhelpful patterns, that you really don’t want to take on for yourself.
I hope this is helpful to somebody.
