That's why someone's intent is so important. And yes I do know somebody married to a much older man - word is that she secretly runs his empire. Is this unethical? Should it be illegal?

And I am all too familiar with middle aged men finding arm candy local girls from Western Indonesia, marrying them, then taking them to somewhere to get them all plastic surgery carved up. To me this IS exploitave.

Personally, the couples I've known who've been 20+ years apart, Man > woman, Woman > man, gay, or lesbian...I haven't observed abuse or exploitation, butthe older person indulging their preference, and the younger person indulging their desire for security or "marrying up."