My first thought upon reading your post is that where you are coming from makes sense. Feeling appreciated includes not feeling scammed. My second thought, call it a partial counter, is that men are going through a huge identity crisis right now.

I seriously considered joining the pick-up artist community, around 10 years ago. The reason why I did not, is because these ultra-stud freaks...once I got to really know them...were not happy. And I just valued being truly happy, over getting my dick wet.

But I understand the appeal of MRP, and douche-baggery in general. Because it works. in high school and college, friends told me, "You have to treat them like garbage! Then women will come flocking to you."

Many men have no assertiveness whatsoever. I used to fall into this camp. Had a girlfriend, lived together, and slowly her strong personality started taking over everything--the decor, who came over, even what hours I could stay up and make noise (TV, music). Eventually, she broke up with me and said it was because she had become the man of the house. Then she found some other guy and brought him over--while I was still living there!--while I stayed on the couch. That was my personal "never again" moment.

Again, I didn't join the pick-up artist community, but I did almost exclusively work on my assertiveness and not letting any woman tell me what I was going to do or not do. I did retain the ability to give a shit, and I remained a great listener. Years later, I met up with this ex-gf and told her I was dating 4 women at once. By the end of the conversation, she...threw herself at me.

Many male friends of mine, are in sexless marriages. And if they're not spending time with goomah's on the side, they're arguing forcefully with their wives. Some came to the "realization" that being in a marriage is like being in a job, and you do what you have to do. One of my later relationships resembled this. This is not MRP, but to be honest it's not that different.

I would agree with you that narcissism leads to both people being unhappy in the end. And that having a heart throughout the process, is missing from these programs. But there's a reason why men end up practicing these tactics, and that reason is they work in the short term.