I think this is a *little* shallow, although there are plenty of men who would do well to take a long, cold shower with what you’re saying.

Nice is not passive-aggressive. They’re two different things. Passive-aggressive men, absolutely, red flag. But not every man who has manners is boring or a ticking time bomb.

I’ve been called “a nice guy who has game.” I’ve also done a lot of internal/emotional work on myself.

Today, women who date me generally say the same things: “you have kind eyes.” “I feel safe around you.” “I feel calm when I’m with you.” etc. I’m extremely honest, open, and patient when it comes to how far things will go, tonight or ever. I’ve also taken a few comedy classes, and can treat any date to her own personal standup show…it’s a useful skill.

I find a lot of “bad guys,” the ones who do get ladies, to be like struggling artists. There is something internally unresolved, and they get into emotionally codependent relationships with women who are rescuers. As an amateur peoplewatcher, I see it is a common pattern, and most “bad guys” know it’s an effective hook.

My #1 complaint about dating is that people give each other the red card entirely too soon. People say they want chemistry, but have such fixed definitions of what “chemistry” should look like. There is a difference between “ticking time bomb” and “self-balanced and giving,” but you’ll never know that if you throw the real gentlemen into the nice-zone.