I hear you on the frustration and struggle to find a quality compatible partner, and also feeling my jaw has been on the floor for months if not years.

I guess I'll just say it is not just women that experience this. I've been looking for "the right partner" for over 20 years now. And I've had a lot of relationships, but none of them have been "it" and so I could not fully commit myself.

I think one challenge is that as we loosen conventions, we open ourselves to uncertainty and confusion. Because we DON'T know what to do. Some people find partners through traditional means, arranged marriages and such, and others happen to meet the right person through sheer dumb luck. But this is not a solution for most of us, and the constant noise of single life (swiping apps, 3rd-date rule, and especially in NYC a tendancy to red-flag decent people over the smallest things) is not helping us find a good partner.