I do live in New York City and so perhaps the social physics are different here.

Personally I have never *liked* hookup culture but in my field of vision, it definitely exists.

For serious relationships, I'd say a good half of them came together at times when I was in an outgoing phase, and I'd heard things like, "Well, you were getting pretty popular and if I didn't grab you, you'd be gone."

The other half were more meet spontaneously, get along, neither of us were particularly *looking* for a relationship, and it just happened. Including the relationship I'm so gratefully in now.

Any guy who says, "Well I'm considering a number of options..." is a Grade A douche. I do think everybody can have their 15 minutes of fame, but there is still such a thing as class.

I do envy that you were able to connect with a man and you appear to be in a very loving and happy committed relationship. For a long time I wanted to remain celibate until I found my magical other, but my life didn't work out that way.