After a lot of work on myself, and a bit of luck, I found a loving, stable relationship.

I have a story to share. :)

We've been very open with each other. About ethical non-monogamy, ex's, pretty much everything.

I revealed to her that I have a friend whom, in my own words, "I probably should have fucked her and gotten it over with." There is definite sexual tension between my friend and me, and that's just how it is.

One weekend, this friend visited me and stayed on my couch. I shared this.

Talk about a reaction... and yeah, there were things I did, that contributed to the ensuing breakdown (almost breakup). For example, I did distance myself a bit from my gf until my friend went home.

But, in the end...HER reaction, and whatever got triggered for her...is not my responsibility. It IS my responsibility to be supportive and empathetic. But her process, is hers to go through.

Story #2: Her friend's dog recently passed away, to whom both her and her ex-bf were extremely close. So she is spending a lot of time with him, these past 2 weeks. And whatever comes up for me, is what I have to deal with.

My point is: it's not your problem if she pops an artery in her forehead when you help a poor old lady. "This is NOT my problem" is a valuable mantra to practice remembering.